From the moment we’re born, we are assigned a specific set of colors we are supposed to like based on our agab (assigned gender at birth).
Girls are supposed to like pink and purple.
Boys are supposed to like blue and green.
One of the most common questions kids – and even adults – ask each other is “what is your favourite color?”
I’ve met girls who say “blue”.
I’ve met boys who say “green and purple”.
My younger cousins, both boys, said “pink” (I was proud).
One of my friends absolutely detests orange and yellow (I don’t see what’s so bad about them).
But it’s never been an easy question for me to answer.
When I was younger I saw the way colors were grouped into “girl colors” and “boy colors”. I understood it but I didn’t see myself fitting into either category.
Since I was born, the world had been telling me I was a girl.
But if I was a girl, surely that should mean I only like pink?
Not to say I didn’t like pink, but I liked blue as well. And yellow. And all the colors.
So when someone asked me “what’s your favourite color?” I said “rainbow”.
Surely that must be acceptable? Right? Rainbow just means “all colors”, and that was perfect for me because I couldn’t choose one favourite. Not really.
“Rainbow is not a color!”
“Just pick ONE!”
“You have to have a favourite color, everyone does!”
As it turns out, not having a favourite color isn’t something a lot of people experience. I felt a little ashamed of myself, so I tried to make myself choose a favourite color. It couldn’t be that hard, could it?
I tried red. Red is nice, it’s the color of strawberries and roses and fire dragons. It’s a color that speaks of power and loyalty.
But what about blue? The color of the sky and the sea, it represents calmness and happiness and contentment. Blue is a nice color too.
Orange. The color of the sunset and autumn leaves and bonfires on the beach, it stands for fun and excitement, orange is beautiful too.
Or green. Like the forest. Mother Nature’s flowing gown. It means tranquility and serenity.
I still couldn’t make up my mind. This was stressful for me. I thought maybe if I went for a specific shade maybe it would work.
Fiery rose (#FF5470). That fine line between red and pink. Like a neon version of rose gold. Now this was a color I could say I loved.
But still, I loved other colors too.
True yellow (#FFFF00)
Mint green (#00cc5c)
As I got older I realized it wasn’t as important. Who cares about the difference between boys and girls or blues and pinks or silver and gold? All colors are unique and beautiful and special, and I loved them all.
I didn’t let the world call me a girl anymore, not just because I didn’t wanna be associated with only pink but because that just wasn’t who I was.
And with the decision to label myself as genderqueer, I realized something; rainbow is a color, it’s my color, and it’s my favourite color.
So if you ask me what my favorite color is, I’ll say “rainbow”, and you can tell me that’s not a color, but I’ll say you’re wrong.
Rainbow is all the colors.
Rainbow is the hue of life itself.
Rainbow is who I am.