the outline

Dear Elvis,

Today I am outlining trailing leaves on a rug border. I am hoping to finish it within the next couple of days as I am definitely on the homestretch. It’s a rug I have begun, put away, sewn on the frame, taken off the frame, re-worked… and the list goes on. Then I discovered white, curly, hand spun wool. I love women with white hair. Sometimes I buy the purple shampoo and make my already lightened hair almost white. It suggests wisdom and maturity, denim shirts and jingly charm bracelets. Faded pink lipstick. Relaxed but chic.

It’s kinda who I want to be.

So re-enter the rug. And the white, fly away hair. It’s been fun hooking this soulful woman who can still seek and find joy. The leaves I am giving an autumnal feel because fall and her months of October and November are where I find my joy. It’s during those months when I will find myself in our new home, to tuck in for the winter. It is the time of the lifting veil. It’s a time when the darkness envelopes you once again, and the nesting occurs, and the healing time is also present.

It’s soul cakes and All Saint’s Day. It’s “Day of the Dead”. The time for celebrating our lost souls- celebrate, not feel sad. For the sadness is now. I’d like to plough through August, if I could. Cooler weather, sweaters and pants. Let’s cover the garish nakedness of summer.

Outlining is a bittersweet activity. The wanting to get right into the beautiful colors of rhubarb and sparkling deep greens must wait. But outlining has its purpose, especially with those stubborn leaves and flowers, my nemesis! Outlining, like writing, and road tripping, is a way and a time to gather up your thoughts and plans. It’s a base or a foundation; a place to which you can return for clarification.

Kind of like blueprints. Kind of like home. Kind of like your favorite activity.

Just this July we took our “Sweet Caroline” to the beach. Our favorite family camping spot for many years. We had some good days, but not enough. Right now I am not sure if we will ever do it again. But we had to try. We had to go back to the outline of an incredible life. It cannot be avoided for the healing to ever be complete.

Elvis, I love your presence. You are part of the outline of my life. The filling in awaits.

Love always,

Melissa